Twitter'd: THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN - PART 2 (2012)

, starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and lots of other people who should have known better...

[View the story "THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN - PART 2 (2012)" on Storify]

Storified by Dan Owen? Sun, Mar 24 2013 10:32:47

The-Twilight-Saga-Breaking-Dawn-Part-2-1108bc5bNerveci

I?m going to live-tweet THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART II. I?m not well. Follow or mute #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Hope there?s a ?previously on?? ? the labyrinthine plot is tough to follow. Bella loves Edward, but also loves Jacob, right? #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Bella is a vampire with super-vision. This explains why the Cullen household is so clean. They see every particle of dust. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Bella and Edward?s daughter is called Rednoseday, if you say it fast with a cold? #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Here?s a ?running super-fast through a forest? sequence that is begging geeks to insert a few STAR WARS speeder bikes. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Vegetarian vampire Edward is okay with Bella hunting a deer? Shaky morals, that guy. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Why doesn?t Edward just scream ?FUCK OFF, already!? whenever Jacob turns up? Ultimate gooseberry. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Oh my God.. what is that-that-that? THING they call a baby? #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

?You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster!?? (I just need to quote #breakingdawn2 for laughs this time out.)Dan Owen

Bella and Edward have been given a cottage as a starter home. This doesn?t reflect MY frustrations with the property ladder. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Love scene. Only people in movies grip the bed sheets. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

The sex was more epic between Jeff Goldblum and Emma Thompson in THE TALL GUY. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

If you have an ex-boyfriend who claims he's "imprinted" on your baby, which excuses him still hanging around, call the cops. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Here comes Officer Dewey. I mean, Charlie. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Kristen Stewart always looks very attractive in the movies, but in real life... God, what am I saying? Yeah, still would. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Awww. Charlie meets Rednoseday for the first time. Somehow isn't freaked by her CGI face. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

I recall new vampires being crazy and unpredictable in an earlier movie, but Bella seems pretty normal. No internal logic. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Sharon from LOST has arrived, so clearly the overall standard of acting is about to increase. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

The world's third favourite Sheen has arrived! Well, fourth if you include household polishing product 'Mr Sheen'. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Simultaneously beheading someone while you rip off their arms is kind of cool. If it's not happening to you. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

I picked a good day to watch #breakingdawn2 because it's snowy outside where I live, too. And I'm also shirtless with bloodshot eyes.Dan Owen

Lots of good-looking people standing around in the snow, talking bullshit with grave severity in their voices. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Is that the psycho soldier from THE PACIFIC who can control the elements? #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Half the time the camera is just filming lots of people, with the stupid voiceover carrying 80% of the storytelling. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

"It won't come to a fight." -- I bet it comes to a fight. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Suddenly these vampires are more like bloody X-Men! #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

In its favour, #breakingdawn2 has ethnic diversity well covered. I'm surprised we haven't met any Inuit vampires yet.Dan Owen

Bella is apparently a shield. Well, it beats being Jacob's beard. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Rapidly-ageing Rednoseday must have cost them a fortune in baby clothes and shoes. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

I made the mistake of looking at the runtime. I'm only halfway through. 20 mins of plot has happened. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

There's an alumnus of THE WIRE in this? No words. No words. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Who is that bearded guy who isn't Guy Pearce? He's no Guy Pearce. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

They're sitting around a campfire telling stories. Let's hope they're better than #breakingdawn2's story.Dan Owen

Jacob is the muscled bodyguard/nanny to his ex's daughter she had with his love rival? The man is a doormat. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Here comes a battle scene that's already reminding me of the one in GOLDEN COMPASS. Oh, goodie. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

If good actors weren't allowed children to impress, we'd perhaps be spared movies like #breakingdawn2. #sterilizeactorsDan Owen

How can they hear what Michael Sheen is saying? He's stood about 600m away. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

I want Sheen's unearthly cackle as my ringtone, to perturb early morning commuters. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

The Swede from #HellonWheels is playing a vampire, as he did on #TrueBlood. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Wilhelm Scream. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Credit where it's due, this mass brawl is a lot of fun. Apparently it wasn't in the book, which makes perfect sense. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

What's this? Actual deaths and a feeling of... drama? #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Hah, cop-out to appease the book fans. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

Oh yes, let's relive the saccharine rubbish that's befallen a generation. #flashbacks #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

I wasn't on first name terms with ANY of the people the credits are running through. I just relied on my own nicknames. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

This is hilarious. Only mild recollection of these people I spent FOUR movies watching. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

End credits. I'm imagining lots of crying from the cinema audience, and braindead fathers trying to drag their kids outside. #breakingdawn2Dan Owen

What's this? My followers actually went UP while live-tweeting #breakingdawn2?Dan Owen

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/dmd/~3/6m_0uq_2mYQ/twitter-twilight-saga-breaking-dawn-part2.html

mayweather vs cotto shumpert hopkins hopkins dear john derrick rose torn acl pacers