A marriage needs love to be successful. When the love lessens, then it would appear like the marriage has become crippled. Perhaps your are living out a serious loss or inadequacy of love in your marriage and you are looking for ways to get back the love into the relationship. If this is the circumstance that you are presently in, then you need to trying counseling to save the relationship. Or better still, try being your own counselor.
Some of you may be saying this is an absurd thing to consider however just take a pause and think about it. This may be the best plan of action yet for you and your partner to iron out problems in your relationship. You and your spouse are in the best position to analyze your situation as you two are the direct parties to it. Only you will be able to figure out the reason for your relationship to break down and subsequently define solutions to save the relationship.
A lot of couples, when presented with a crisis in their relationship, usually let their emotions take control, impairing their impartiality.
If you and your partner can ignore these adverse emotions, you will have better ability to sort out your differences and select on the best resolution to the problem to save the relationship.
Begin by giving each other some space before talking about the issues, specially when the hurt is still new. As soon as you have individually sorted out your emotions and are prepared to be unemotional about it, sit down and talk about it. Remember the past to recognize what were the reasons for the disagreement. Keep in mind, at the start of your relationship, you both were filled with adoration and zeal. You were brimming with love for each other.
You were both overflowing with inspired anticipation of what the future holds for you two. But at some point, all that was lost. Reviewing the past will allow you to establish what caused this.
Was it the everyday pressures of living that caused you to forget the love? Have you committed sins of omission? Have you been giving abundantly to the relationship or have you been always at the receiving end therefore, making your partner feel that he or she has been at the losing end? Bear in mind it takes two to tango. Have you two been so self-assured because you have been together for so long, that you have forgotten the thing that brought you two together in the first place ? the never-ending love that you affirmed for each other.
Ask yourself these questions and other questions that can bring out the cause of your disagreement. It is only you and your spouse who be able to determine the answers to these. Getting to the root of the problem is key and once you are able to recognize the cause, then you have taken the first big step to being your own counselor and be on your way to save the relationship.
Most of the time it is the small irritants gathered over time that cause the major disagreement between couples. Probably you both were not sensitive enough to notice these while they were still easier to contain. In being aware the root of the problem, you are able to tackle these and finally resolve them.
Try being your own counselor. After all, you and your partner are the main players in the relationship and are at the best position to distinguish the problem and formulate a permanent resolution to it. Make the effort. As your own counselor, you can look at the problem at all from all sides. Solutions are more lasting when these are put together by the involved parties ? you and your spouse.
Finally, when you have come to an agreement, be willing to make changes if needed. It is only if you are willing to do your share to save the relationship will you be able to get back the love that you lost.
Zeny Zabala is a relationship resource person who loves to write articles about marriage and relationships for individuals looking for help and inspiration in their relationships. She also provides reading recommendations on her web site with reviews on the best available reading resources on the internet today. Visit her website now.
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